Concrete Angel
by Starisia the Shadow Demon
Summary: 'A statue stands in a shaded place, an angel girl with an upturned A name is written on a polished A broken heart that the world ' A series of Yullen songfics ranging from tragedy to WARNING: Rated for Character Death and
1. Concrete Angel

**A/N: Okay I wrote this in like 20 minutes while I was trying to fall asleep-and failing obviously-so please be gentle. I was listening to the song Concrete Angel by Martina McBride, and this idea just popped into my head, so I typed it up on my phone last night and decided to post. Anyway here it is, and please let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Concrete Angel. I only love them both.**

**Warnings: Character death, some angst-I think-and maybe some ooc-ness.**

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><p><em>She walks to school with the lunch she packed. Nobody knows what she's holding back. Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday. She hides the bruises with a linen and lace.<em>

I remember the first time I saw him, the new kid in school. A boy with shoulder length snow white hair, head bowed gray eyes glassy and emotionless, walking to school, same as I was. His white dress shirt was rumpled under his vest, a red ribbon holding his color up high on his neck. Only a couple years younger than me. He was beautiful.

_The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask. It's hard to see the pain behind the mask. Baring the burden of a secret storm, sometimes she wishes she was never born._

Soon after he started he showed up with a pretty bad bruise on his cheek, and a split lip as though he'd been beat up. No one thought to ask how it had happened, not when he smiled so innocent and happy like he did. A smile that reached even my heart despite my stoic demeanor. Maybe if we had asked, pressed the subject it wouldn't have happened.

_Somebody cries in the middle of the night. The neighbors hear but they turn out the lights. A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate, when morning comes it'll be too late._

Here I stand, my raven hair tied back in a its usual ponytail, my expression as cold and calm as ever, despite the pain I feel inside, staring down at the marker as Lenalee cries beside me, and Lavi tries to comfort her fighting back tears of his own.

_A statue stands in a shaded place, an angel girl with an upturned face. A name is written on a polished rock. A broken heart that the world forgot._

I had known something was wrong, I had seen his sad expression when the bell rang each day, the way he'd move as though trying to avoid touching certain places on his body as though they hurt, but I did nothing. At this moment I don't regret meeting Allen. I regret that I did nothing, while he suffered. How had his screams fallen on deaf ears? If only they'd called someone, he might still be alive. He had seemed to be so strong, happy and serene, at least now, his pain was gone.

_Through the wind, and the rain, she stands hard as a stone, in a world that she can't rise above. But her dreams, give her wings, and she flies to a place where she's loved, Concrete Angel._

I remember the first time I saw him, walking to school, the unusual scar that rested on his cheek. I should have done something then, instead of lying to myself. Maybe then, my Allen would still be alive, and in my arms, where I could keep him safe. Just like I should have. At that moment, I realize that I, Kanda Yuu, have fallen in love with an angel named Allen Walker, and I will never get the chance to show him that he is loved. I feel something on my cheek, and turn away from the others as one more tear falls. He has broken my walls at the cost of his life, and my heart grieves for the loss of my Moyashi.

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><p><strong>AN: Well that's pretty much it. Sorry if it's awful but it's my first Songfic and it was late. If you liked it though a review would be nice. I am thinking about doing another one but, who knows, it all depends on what kind of responce this gets. If you liked then PLEASE review and let me know if it'd be worth my time doing another one sometime.**

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed**


	2. Whiskey Lullaby

**A/N: Okay another songfic I wrote for no real reason, aside from I was bored and the idea popped into my head, while i was listening to a song. Might be less depressing than 'Concrete Angel' might be more depressing it all depends on how you look at it. While writing it I had the song 'Whisky Lullaby' playing on endless loop, which is the inspiration for this one. I wrote it in a little under an hour with all the distractions. If you haven't heard this song before then please check it out on youtube. It's 'Whisky Lullaby' by Brad Paisley, and it's a beautiful song. I would also recommend watching the video, since that's where most of my inspiration came from. I can almost guarantee it'll make you cry.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Whisky Lullaby, I only love them both.**

**Warning: Character death, angst, mentions of alcohol abuse and Laven, and maybe some ooc-ness.**

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><p><em>She put him out, like the burning end of a midnight cigarette. She broke his heart. He spent his whole life trying to forget. <em>

I hear the door open, and look up from beneath Lavi. My smile disappears. Kanda stares back at me, eyes wide with shock before he storms away without a word. I push Lavi away and chase after him, my heart racing, tears in my eyes. By the time I reach the front door he is already in the car and he pulls away before I can cry out for him to wait.

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time. But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind. Until the night, he put that bottle to his head, and pulled the trigger. He finally drank away her memory. Life is short, but this time it was bigger, than the strength he had to get up off his knees. We found him with his face down in the pillow, with a note that said 'I'll love her till I die'. And when we buried him beneath the willow, the angels sang a whisky lullaby._

I hear the news. My heart shatters. One mistake costs everything. They tell me about the note, I break down. Lavi watches me, to shocked to show any emotion. I hadn't meant to hurt him so much. I am an idiot. I had watched with the others as his mood grew darker. I waited for him to calm down enough to listen. How was I to know that day would never come? I had never thought he could do such a thing.

_The rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself. For years and years, she tried to hide the whisky on her breath._

It's my fault. Lavi says it's his too, but he's wrong. I am the one to blame. Kanda had done nothing, but I had been unfaithful. I had betrayed him. It was truly my fault. I am the reason the raven haired Japanese, did it. I'm breaking, slowly but surely the cracks in my heart spread, devouring me from the inside out. It's my fault. All, my fault.

_She finally drank her pain away, a little at a time, but she never could get drunk enough, to get him off her mind, untill the night, she put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger. She finally drank away his memory. Life is short, but this time it was bigger, than the strength she had to get up off her knees. We found her with her face down in the pillow, clinging to his picture for dear life. We layed her next to him beneath the willow, while the angels sang a whisky lullaby._

The pain is too much. I understand now why he did it. Had I really hurt him this much? Yes, I suppose I had, if it was enough to break him in such a way. I have to see him. I stare down at his picture as I do the only thing I can. I watch the others mourn over me. I feel awful for leaving them, but it was too much to bear. I feel tears in my eyes as they lay my body beside my lovers'. I hear something behind me, and turn around. There he is, staring at me with cold eyes. I open my mouth to speak, he silences me with a kiss, twining his fingers into my silver hair. All is forgiven. The others grieve my death, but I am with my lover once more.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay so my second songfic ever and I got it done on the same day as the first. After I got all the encouragement from those who reviewed the first one 'Concrete Angel' I have decided to make this into a series. I think I'm gonna mark this as complete but I am going to add to this regardless, so long as I keep getting reviews, faves and/or story alerts, just so I know that people are still enjoying these. Oh and i think these will mostly be tragedy, since i like a lot of sad songs, but it all depends on what song calls out to me and what song manages to pull a story from me. I'll keep Concrete Angel as the title as well, until I come up with something better, and I'll just name the chapters after the song their based on.**

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and please review, if you liked it!**


	3. Here Comes Goodbye

**A/N: Yet another songfic I wrote out of boredom and frustration, since I now have writers block on my Vampire Yullen Fic, which is starting to tick me off, since I was on a roll the other night, then I had to get off because of my damn 11:00 computer curfew, and now I can't remember what the bloody hell I was going to write. Yes I am ranting, but I am frustrated with it. *Sigh* I was hoping that writing this would relieve some stress, which it did, sorta, but not really. *Sigh* Sorry, i just really needed to get that out of my system before i just broke down and Killed Allen in that one-I think people would get mad at me for that one. Anyway this Fic is based on the song Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flats, which is another sad one, so yes, this is another sad fic. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Here Comes Goodbye.**

**Warning: Just angst this time, I think. I really didn't feel like killing anyone this time around. Maybe next time, but I'm not sure. Never am when I'm writing these songfic's.**

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><p><em>I can hear the truck tires comin' up the gravel road and it's not like her to drive that slow, nothin's on the radio. The footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell, she usually comes right in, now I can tell. Here comes goodbye.<em>

I can't understand why he's doing this. I stare at him. His dark eyes are cold, showing he means what he says. I don't know how to react, aside from breaking down, but I won't do it. Not now, not in front of him. I shout at him, telling him I hope he's happy now, and slam the door. I hear him walk away, and I lean back against the door, my hands tugging at silver locks, as my tears begin to fall.

_I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday. And I can see it written on her face, that she had never felt that way. Someday I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side, and violins would play 'here comes the bride'._

I love him. More than I think he knows. I don't understand how his words could possibly hold any truth. He'd said he loved me, now he says he doesn't. I don't know how to feel, how to tell him. Could it really be over? I'd held hopes of forever with my raven haired lover, how could that all fade so suddenly? No, it didn't fade, it was shattered, no longer anything more than shards of glass on the ground, there for no more purpose than to taunt me with what almost was, what my dreams had been.

_Whys it have to go from good to wrong? Before the lights turn on, yeah, and you're left alone. All alone, but here comes, goodbye_.

Everything had been perfect, at least I thought so. Did he think differently? I guess so, why else would he leave me like this; a shattered mess, left alone to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, and shattered dream.

_Here comes goodbye. Here comes the last time, here comes the start every sleepless night, the first of every tear I'm gonna cry. Here comes the pain. Here comes me wishing things had never changed, and she was right here in my arms tonight. But here comes goodbye._

I finally get to my feet and look out the window; he's gone. That's all I need to see before I know that it's true. We're over. This was goodbye to my lover. My final farewell to the one I love. My heart is numb. I can do nothing but stare out the window, and hope he returns. A futile hope that I know will not be answered, but a new pain ceases' my heart when hours pass and he doesn't return. I crumble to the floor and let my tears fall.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, that's it for this one. I'm not totally happy with it, but it's alright I guess. Better than I expected with my current mood. *Sigh* Writers block is such a pain! Oh well. I think This was actually the shortest one yet. Kinda weird since i killed characters in the other two. Oh the irony!  
>Oh and i was wondering, do you guys think I should keep this strictly Yullen? I have a few ideas for Lucky songfics so I wanted to know if I should just post them on this story or make a new series for them. I'd love to hear your openions on the subject, so just let me know what you think in a review.<strong>

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Please review if you liked. Reviews make me happy, and when I'm happy it's easier for me to write.**


	4. Jesus Take the Wheel

**A/N: Okay just like the first one, I wrote this in about 45 minutes when I couldn't sleep last night. So, yeah, you guys can thank my seemingly chronic insomnia and nocturnal tendencies, for this one. Yes I am aware of how weird that sounds, but I am too tired to really care at the moment. This one is based on the song Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood. It's one of my faves so I hope this Fic does it justice.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Jesus Take the Wheel, I only love them both.**

**Warning: Maybe some ooc-ness, but I think that's it this time around.**

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><p><em>She was drivin' last Friday on her way to Cincinnati on a snow white Christmas eve. Goin' home to see he mama and her daddy, with the baby in the back seat. Fifty miles ago and she was runnin' low, on faith and gasolene. It'd been a long hard year.<em>

He didn't care. He had told me to go ahead if I wanted to go, but he was staying. I want to be there, but I also want to be with him. I wonder if he misses me like I miss him. Probably not.

_She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention, she was goin' way too fast. Before she knew it she was spinnin' on a thin black sheet of glass. She saw both their lives flash before her eyes. She didn't even have time to cry, she was so scared. She threw her hands up in the air._

I feel the car jerk, and I try to get it back under control but I can't. It's spinning wildly now. My head hurts from hitting the glass. I think I'm bleeding, my snowy locks turning crimson. I take my hands off the wheel, no longer trying to control the car. I'm scared. It can't end this way. Heaven please help me.

_It was still gettin' colder when she made it to the shoulder and the car came to a stop. She cried when she saw that baby in the back seat sleepin' like a rock. And for the first time, in a long time she bowed her head to pray. She said I'm sorry for the way, I've been livin' my life. I know I've got to change, so from now on tonight..._

The car stops. I open my eyes. I feel tears enter my eyes and I lean my head on the steering wheel, letting my tears fall and whispering my thanks. A sob catches in my throat. I was sure that I would die, that I would never see him again. I bow my head further, apologies coming from my lips.

_Jesus take the wheel. Take it from my hands. Cause' I can't do this on my own. I'm letting go, so give me one more chance. Save me from this road I'm on, oh, from this road I'm on._

I hear the door open, and before I so much as look up, my seatbelt is all but torn from around me. I feel someone pulling me from the drivers' seat, but I don't complain. I can't. I must be in shock. I feel their hand on my chin, pulling my face up to look at them. It's him, a look of concern, worry, and panic in his normally calm and cold gaze. My tears return, and I let them fall. He seems relieved. He pulls me close, wrapping his coat around my shoulders, before wrapping his arms around me, letting me cry into his chest, while one hand strokes my blood stained hair, the other rubbing soothing circles on my back. My doubts are gone. He does love me. I thank the heavens for keeping me alive, and bringing my lover to me when I needed him most.

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><p><strong>AN: YAY, I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE! Or cause permanent emotional damage this time! Yes I know how weird that sounds, but give me a break. I was up until 2:00 last night and it is barely 6:45 as I'm typing the last of this. I'm a very tired Starisia right now… ANYWAY, I hope you like this one. Am I completely happy with it? Not particularly but it's okay I guess. I think I could have done better, but I'll just edit it later if I can think of anything else to add. I feel this one stuck too close to the song, but I wanted to try writing one that wasn't… depressing I guess would be a good word for it. Not only that but I was in a car accident when I was like 3, and there is no real explanation the doctors could give as to why I survived, so this song kinda holds a deep meaning for me. Oh boy, I'm rambling again… BLAME THE EXAUSTION! **

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Please review if you liked this one, and let me know if you'd like me to do another less depressing-Happy?-one in the future, or if I should just stick to tragedy. This one was more like an experiment than anything else, so it's up to you guys. THANKS AGAIN!**


	5. Unapologize

**A/N: Okay, I don't think that this one's all that great, but it was 2:30 last night, I couldn't sleep and I had Unapologize by Carrie Underwood on endless loop-a decision I now regret since I can't get it out of my head, but oh well. Anyway I am still tired from the late night, so I'm gonna cut this short.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Unapologize, I only love them both.**

**Warning: Maybe some OOC-ness but not much. At least I don't think there's much… I am too tired to think.**

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><p><em>Last night, I was pourin' out my heart, like a waterfall to you and with one kiss, I was a runaway train flyin off the track to you. I love you came floodin' out, couldn't make it stop, couldn't shut my mouth. I felt like a fool, then I lied and said I was sorry.<em>

I stare at him in horror, fighting back a blush and the urge to run. He stares back at me, shock in his cold cobalt eyes. Had I really just said...? Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, I didn't-! But I did. I try to think. I laugh and he looks at me like I have lost it. I gasp out an apology. He looks away, his usual answer leaving his lips. I sigh in relief, just glad that he isn't yelling at me.

_You know, people say a lot of things that they don't really mean and last night I told a little white lie hoping you'd forget the scene. Where it felt like a movie under that porch light. Couldn't help myself when you held me tight. I said what I meant then I lied and said I was sorry._

He doesn't bring it up the next time I see him, doesn't act any differently, and for that I'm relieved. He thought it was a joke, and that's what I want. I lean into him as we walk and he puts his arm around my shoulders with an annoyed sound. I smile, happy that things haven't changed, but at the same time, I feel bad for lying to my lover. I regret it now.

_Ohhhh, there's no time to be holdin it all in, tryin to pretend that I don't feel anything, ohhhh I shouldn't of said I'm sorry. I meant every word, won't take back the way I feel about you. I can't unsay what you heard, cause you heard me right. And I won't try to fight em back or hide my feelings for you, I unapologize, cause' you heard me right._

I stop and look at him. He stops as well, looking down at me, one eyebrow raised questioningly. I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. I take back my apology. He looks confused for a moment before he smirks, and starts tugging me along. I smile, relieved. He isn't yelling at me. I am content. My feelings are accepted by my lover. And if he's not yelling at me for saying it, or even looking angry, then i believe it is safe to assume that my feeling are returned.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank my insomnia for this one! Am I happy with it? Not really, but, hey, I needed something to do when I couldn't sleep last night. Be amazed that I managed to come up with a story that fits the song-sort of. Bright side, this one was relatively happy. And again I didn't kill anybody! Wow, that's starting to get creepy... OH WELL! I really like this song and I can't help but smile whenever I hear it for some reason. No real clue why. Sorry for the short chapter but, hey I'm tired.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Please review if you liked this one!**


	6. Bring Me To Life

**A/N: Yay a new songfic! Okay so I've had this song on my MP3 for a while but I barely listened to it a few days ago and I am hooked on it. I love it and-for some reason-it reminded me of Kanda and my Fic Blood and Lust, so I HAD to make this one. So the song this time is 'Bring Me to Life' be Evanescence. If you haven't heard it before then I strongly recommend listening to it. Oh and for the record this one is rock, not country like the others have been. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Bring Me to Life. I only love them both.**

**Warning: Angst and… actually I think that's it. As strange as it may seem Kanda doesn't seem all that OOC to me… weird. I don't know, maybe I'm just too tired to see it.**

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><p><em>How can you see into my eyes, like open doors? Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead It. Back. Home.<em>

My heart is frozen, cold and dead, but nobody sees, that's the way it's been for longer than I care to remember. Then he shows up. His silver eyes pierce me, as though they see what no one else does, as clear as day. How? My cold facade that has fooled them all, he sees through it. I should be angry, I know that, but I don't know if I want to be.

_Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring. Me. To life._

His kiss stuns me. Stealing my breath, and giving me his. My heart seems to beat for the first time in too long, the passion behind his action melting some of the ice, giving me my first taste of life in too long and I want more.

_Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, Darling. Only you are the life among the dead.  
><em>_**-All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me-  
><strong>__I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems. Got to open my eyes to everything.  
><em>_**-Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul, don't let me die here. There must be something more!-  
><strong>__Bring me to life!_

No one else has such power over my heart. It beats when he is near, but when he is gone I feel dead again. Without his presence, his kiss, his touch, the ice hardens. The others are as dead as I am, as far as I am concerned but he radiates light and life, giving my heart a reason to beat

_**-Wake me up!-  
><strong>__Wake me up inside!  
><em>_**-I can't wake up!-  
><strong>__Wake me up inside!  
><em>_**-Save me!-  
><strong>__Call my name and save me from the dark!  
><em>_**-Wake me up!-  
><strong>__Bid my blood to run!  
><em>_**-I can't wake up!-  
><strong>__Before I come undone!  
><em>_**-Save me!-  
><strong>__Save me from the nothing I've become! Bring me to life.  
><em>_**-I've been living a lie. There's nothing inside!-**__  
>Bring me to life!<em>

I see it despite the life in his silver eyes, he's empty, he's breaking. Just like the rest of us. My blood chills at the thought. In battle my blood runs but with him is when I fear. Losing him would shatter me and give the ice back its hold. He is the one that makes me feel alive. I bleed and I feel dead, I am with him and I feel alive. He's a fool though. He thinks it's there, beneath the surface but he's wrong. There's nothing left within me, nothing but my frozen heart and desire to feel alive for just a little while at a time. A desire that only he can grant me.

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><p><strong>AN: Yes I am aware that it's a bit-Depressing?-but at least I didn't kill anyone. I am actually pretty happy with this one. It seems more Arekan to me though and I prefer Yullen but, Oh well, I'm still happy with it. This is my first non-country songfic so I'd love to know what you guys think. I might do more by Evanescence in the future, or maybe Paramore, but I don't know. Like I said before this just reminded me of Kanda and my other story so I really wanted to write it.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. And if you liked this one then PLEASE REVIEW!**


	7. My Immortal

**A/N: This is another songfic that wouldn't leave me alone. I wrote it in a little over an hour. I was listening to this song on endless loop most of the day yesterday and I was talking over this idea with Atsuma-1. (My best friend who is like a sister) So the song this time is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. It's a beautiful song and I just LOVE how she puts so much emotion into the lyrics. There aren't a lot of songs that can make me cry but 'My Immortal' is one of them. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song My Immortal, I only love them both**

**Warning: Angst and Character Death.**

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><p><em>I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave. Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.<em>

No, oh god, please no. I can't be hearing this right. I stare at Komui, he stares back, his arms wrapped around Lenalee as she sobs into his chest. I feel my chest constrict and I try to say something-_anything_-past the lump in my throat, but sound refuses to come. I feel a whole in my chest, a jagged wound caused by grief, despair and regret. Komui looks at me sadly as he makes the announcement, a still sobbing Lenalee in his arms. Everyone is shocked they never expected this to happen to _him_ of all people. No one wants to believe it but we don't have a choice. Kanda Yuu has fallen in battle. He won't be coming home.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you've left behind. Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me._ _These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase._

He's gone. He's no more than a memory. The only person I had ever truly loved is gone. I see him in my dreams, his face contorted in pain as his dying screams fill the air drilling into my skull and engraving themselves into my memory, creating yet more cracks in the pieces of my already shattered heart. My mind is shaken; I no longer know what to believe. It's impossible to think through the screams that begin haunting me in the waking world as well as my dreams. The wounds grow worse with time. The pain grows stronger.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me I've been alone all along._

Days pass, but still he doesn't return. He's dead, that's what my mind keeps telling me but my heart refuses to believe it. The pain is too much. I'm alone. Sure the others try to comfort me and I smile at them so they won't worry, but I still feel so alone. I don't like being alone. I know how to end my loneliness and I allow a sad half smile to grace my lips.

It's been several weeks since I've been in the order. I don't understand why everyone keeps staring at me like they've seen a ghost but it's starting to get on my nerves. I scoff as the Usagi comes into view, drawing his attention as well as Lenalee's. The rabbit's usual grin appears, but it somehow seems genuine for once in his idiotic life. Tears come to Lenalee's eyes and next thing I know she's sobbing into my chest. I ask what's going on, my hand going to the hilt of my sword in annoyance. The answer the Usagi gives me shakes me to my core. I turn around pushing Lenalee away, and take off running, something deep inside telling me to get to my Moyashi as quickly as I can. I can't understand why my heart clenches with fear.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me._

I throw the door open just as blood springs from his chest, staining his pale shirt and his own hand. My eyes widen and it takes everything I have not to fall to my knees and scream. Silver eyes lock on me and a sad half smile comes to his lips he whispers something almost too quiet for me to hear, but I do. He says he's glad it worked. Now we can be together. I want to snap at him, call him an idiot and so many other things. I want to fall to my knees and scream at the heavens, allow my tears to fall, but I don't. Instead I force my usual smirk to my lips and walk over to the bed where he lay. I place a chaste kiss on his lips, before kissing the tears from his eyes and taking his hand in mine. It's already getting cold and I fight to keep mine steady. I tell him it took him long enough, and he smiles at me just as the last of the light leaves his beautiful silver eyes, leaving them a dull, slate gray. I fall to my knees now that he's gone and let my tears fall at last.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, so the past few chapters I've taken to saying 'At least i didn't kill anyone' at the end, but I can't say that this time since I killed Allen...Again. Is anyone else keepig track of how many times I've done that here? I'll admit it though, I was crying while I wrote the ending. Especially when Kanda kissed him. I think it just felt in character for me. I honestly felt that in that situation Kanda would let Allen believe he had done the right thing, no matter how much it hurt him. My original idea was for Allen to break Kanda's heart, then Atsu said something about having Mana die and Kanda comfort him, but, well I have a twisted way of thinking so she went in one direction and my mind went in the opposite. I am thinking about making an alternate ending for this one but, I'm not so sure. Oh and someone requested me to make 'Concrete Angel', the first songfic I did into an actual story, but I wanted to know what the rest of you think. Oh and for the record I am going to participate in Yullen Week this year so my updates on this and my other stories might be a little slow, just so you know.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! If you like this one then **_**please review**_**, and let me know if you want me to do an alternate ending for it. I'll try to make another happy one next time but No promises.**


	8. My Immortal Alternate Ending

**A/N: okay so this is an alternate ending for the songfic I posted yesterday; 'My Immortal'. I am aware that the ending was pretty depressing for that one but-in my defense-it was one of those things that kinda' wrote itself. After I was done with the ending I got this idea for another ending, so I got working on it. The rest of the story is the same but this one ends differently thus the oint of the alternate ending... I'm tored okay? Give me a break...**

**I do not own DGM or the song My Immortal. I only love them both.**

**Warning: Angst and maybe some OOC-ness. Also mentions of character death.**

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><p><em>I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave. Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.<em>

No, oh god, please no. I can't be hearing this right. I stare at Komui, he stares back, his arms wrapped around Lenalee as she sobs into his chest. I feel my chest constrict and I try to say something-_anything_-past the lump in my throat, but sound refuses to come. I feel a whole in my chest, a jagged wound caused by grief, despair and regret. Komui looks at me sadly as he makes the announcement, a still sobbing Lenalee in his arms. Everyone is shocked they never expected this to happen to _him_ of all people. No one wants to believe it but we don't have a choice. Kanda Yuu has fallen in battle. He won't be coming home.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you've left behind. Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me._ _These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase._

He's gone. He's no more than a memory. The only person I had ever truly loved is gone. I see him in my dreams, his face contorted in pain as his dying screams fill the air drilling into my skull and engraving themselves into my memory, creating yet more cracks in the pieces of my already shattered heart. My mind is shaken; I no longer know what to believe. It's impossible to think through the screams that begin haunting me in the waking world as well as my dreams. The wounds grow worse with time. The pain grows stronger

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me I've been alone all along._

Days pass, but still he doesn't return. He's dead, that's what my mind keeps telling me but my heart refuses to believe it. The pain is too much. I'm alone. Sure the others try to comfort me and I smile at them so they won't worry, but I still feel so alone. I don't like being alone. I know how to end my loneliness and I allow a sad half smile to grace my lips.

It's been several weeks since I've been in the order. I don't understand why everyone keeps staring at me like they've seen a ghost but it's starting to get on my nerves. I scoff as the Usagi comes into view, drawing his attention as well as Lenalee's. The rabbit's usual grin appears, but it somehow seems genuine for once in his idiotic life. Tears come to Lenalee's eyes and next thing I know she's sobbing into my chest. I ask what's going on, my hand going to the hilt of my sword in annoyance. The answer the Usagi gives me shakes me to my core. I turn around pushing Lenalee away, and take off running, something deep inside telling me to get to my Moyashi as quickly as I can. I can't understand why my heart clenches with fear.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me._

I burst through the door to find his hand poised over his heart, ready to drive the claws through it. I yell his name and he looks at me. Tears spring to his eyes and his claws start to shake over his heart. He whispers, the same things over and over again, saying I'm not real, I'm nothing but his imagination. I'm gone.  
>His claws pull back as though he is about to plunge them through his heart. I rush forward and grasp his wrists in my hands, pinning them beside his head. My heart is racing, my blood pounding in my ears with each beat.<br>He looks up from beneath me his desperate silver eyes meeting my normally calm cobalt. He says I'm not real, I'm nothing but his imagination. He continues to whisper those desperate words, tears coming to his eyes as he begins to struggle.  
>I tighten my grip, holding his wrists tight enough to leave bruises. He winces but doesn't stop struggling or whimpering those words. He sounds desperate, as though trying to convince himself as tears flood his eyes. I snap at him calling him a 'Baka Moyashi'.<br>His struggles begin to become more desperate. He's pleading with me to let him go, let him take his life so he can be with me.  
>I crush my lips against his hoping to convince him that I'm here, that I'm <em>me<em>. I feel him still beneath me before he's kissing me back. I let go of his right hand, but keep my bruising grip on his other and he wraps it around my neck pulling me closer. I pull back and kiss the tears away, whispering comforting to him before I lie beside him and let him sob into my chest, clinging to me with all the strength he has. I wrap my arms around him, holding him as close as I can, just thankful that i made it in time and didn't lose the one person I truely cared for.

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><p><strong>AN: Yay, happy ending… kinda, but hey it IS still based on My Immortal. There's no way to write something for that song and have it NOT be a little sad. Well you could but it wouldn't go with the song very well. I'd love to know which ending you guys like more.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	9. What Can I Say

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm back with another songfic after not updating anything for over a month. I'm starting to feel really bad about that, but I do have an excuse! I've been working non-stop on my Yullen week entries so I haven't had the chance to focus on anything else, but yesterday I couldn't seem to get into writing any of them. This idea came to me when I was listening to the song-like always-and it wouldn't leave me alone, so I worked on this throughout the day going between it, a couple of my Yullen Week entries, and chatting with a good friend of mine on Yahoo so progress was somewhat slow. This time around the song is What Can I Say by Carrie Underwood, another fave of mine. Hmm, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something... Oh yeah! This one is written from both Allen's and Kanda's pov. I'm sure you'd have noticed just wanted to let you know. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own** **DGM or the song What Can I Say, I only love them both.**

**Warning: Maybe some OOC-ness but not much and... Fluff? I think this qualifys as fluff... not so sure anymore..**

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><p><em>Piercing words, eyes are red, watched your taillights in the rain. Empty heart filled with regret, I know we were both to blame. And I'm not sorry that it's over, but for the way we let it end. So I said all I had to say in letters that I threw away.<em>

**(Allen)**

I watch him go, my heart clenching painfully within my chest. The rain beat down, each drop feeling like needles on my skin, plastering my snow colored locks to my forehead and hiding my tears as i watch his car disappear around the corner. Part of me wants to call out for him, wants him to return and pull me tight to his chest like he used to do after a fight, but I refuse to go after him, to be the one who ends it this time. I won't beg for him to return like he seems to think i will, I just won't sink so low.

_How did it come to this? I think about you all the time. It's no excuse, but I wish that I never made you cry. And I'm not sorry that it's over, but for the way we let it end, I couldn't find the words to say._

**(Kanda)**

No matter how hard I try I can't forget the look on the Moyashi's face as I drove away. I knew he was crying, I could tell by the look in his silver eyes even though the rain made it impossible to see his tears. Part of me refuses to be the one to end it, but another wants to go back, to return to him and forget this entire thing ever happened. I don't know which is stronger, nor do I know what I'd say.

_I hate to think all you have of me is the memory I left you. The space between what was meant to be and the mess that it turned into._

I don't know what happened, how my Moyashi and I grew apart. The distance had just been there and had continued to grow for seemingly no reason. I was just too damn stubborn to be the one to reach out to him and pull him back into my arms like I would have in the begining of our relationship, opting instead to wait for him to curl against my chest like he used to. Maybe that's where things had gone wrong; we'd both forgotten how it was in the beginning.

_And you should know, please believe me I've picked up the phone a thousand times and tried to dial your number, but it's been so long. It's never easy. It's like trying to spin the world the other way, so what can I say?_

**(Allen)**

My hand hovers over the buttons as I try once again to dial his number. It's been weeks since we last saw each other or even spoke on the phone and I'm starting to wonder if this time it's over. I can't bring myself to regret if it is but if we have ended I don't want it to be like this, with not so much as a real goodbye. Even if we aren't together I still want us to be friends. I still love him, and I can't imagine not being able to at least _see_ him anymore, even if we're no longer lovers.  
>I steel my resolve and head for the front door, grabbing my coat on the way, but the instant I open it I freeze my eyes meeting deep cobalt and I can see something in the depths of those fathomless eyes that I never thought I'd see; regret.<br>I smile at him and wrap my arms around his neck. He tenses for a second before wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close. He doesn't need to say anything, he's here and that says more than he knows.  
>"One more try?" He whispers into my hair. I grin feeling happier than I have in a long time and capture his lips in a passionate kiss. He kisses me back and my eyes widen before drifting closed. This kiss is… different than the ones we'd shared the past year, and I don't hestate to lean into it and let him deepen it.<br>"One more try." I agree in a breathless whisper when he finally pulls back and I'm allowed to breathe again.  
>He grins and captures my lips once more, but this time the kiss is gentle almost... Hopeful in its intensity and the way his lips move against mine.<br>I know it won't be easy, but I think we're both too proud to let 'us' go after so long, at least not without giving it one more chance to work.  
>Who knows? Maybe we're just being stubborn. It is something we've both been told.<br>Either way, I know we love each other and I'm willing to try one more time if he is.  
>And, this time, I think things will work.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: Yes, I actually did a sweet ending... Did that count as Fluff? I honestly have no clue. I'm a sleepy Star Shadow right now so I'm a little... loopy. I'm pretty happy with this one except for the sugary ending. For some reason 'sweet' has taken over my writing the past few days, making it increadibly difficult to write tragedy-and if I don't write something depressing soon I think I'll lose it. I have nothing against sweet stories, its just that I have a couple of sad things I want to finish and I can't do that while the sweet ones have control of my mind. Oops, I'm babbling again, so Ishould really stop that. Anyway I really hope you enjoyed but I won't know unless you review. Besides if you review I might do more Sweet ones in the future. Your reviews also get me motivated to finish up my Yullen week entries, and the sooner I finish those, the sooner I can return to regular updates on this and my other stories.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! _PLEASE REVIEW!_**


	10. Last Call

**A/N: That was... Weird. Okay so this is the same one I uploaded earlier but when I checked it had been deleted somehow. Weird. I did decide I didn't like the ending though and changed that before re-uploading it, so here it is... again... again. This is yet another one I wrote in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep to save my life and had a song on loop-I do that way more than I should. Anyway this one is based on the song 'Last Call' by Lee Ann Womack. Had this song on my mp3 forever but I kinda forgot about it-I have almost 550 songs on that thing, do you expect me to remember them ALL! Although I can sing most of them… what was I gonna say next? CRAP! I forgot, oh well. I think that's enough of my babbling so on with the Fic!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Last Call.**

**Warning: Mentions of alcohol abuse and maybe some OOC-ness.**

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><p><em>I recognized your number. It's burned into my brain. I felt my heart beaten faster every time it rang, some things never change. That's why I didn't answer. I bet you're in a bar, listenin to a country song. Glass of Jonny walker red with no one to take ya home their probably closin down sayin no more alcohol. I bet you're in a bar, 'cause I'm always you last call.<em>

I feel tears sting my eyes as I clutch my phone to my chest and it continues to ring, my heart beating faster and faster with each second that ticks by until it finally the falls silent. I breathe a sigh of mixed relief and sorrow. I know that number all too well, as though it were burned into my memory, I know what I'd of heard if I answered, knowing that I'd cave if I heard his voice even if his speech was slurred in his drunken state, knowing I'd go to him wherever he said he was. I know why he called, how I'd feel in the morning if I did answered. Sure, it would only last till morning but it would still hurt like broken glass tearing at my heart.

_I don't need to check that message. I know what it says. 'Baby I still love you', don't mean nothin when there's whiskey on your breath, that's the only love I get so if you're callin, I bet you're in a bar, listenin to a cheatin song. Glass of Johnny Walker Red with no one to take ya home. Their probably closin down, sayin no more alcohol, I bet you're in a bar, cause I'm always your last call._

The light flashes saying I have a message and I bite down hard on my lower lip as my fingers shakily fly across the keys, deleting the message before I even hear his voice. I know what it'll say, how it'll sound. He'll sound normal-at first-but then he'll start calling me 'Aren' or 'Allen' instead of 'Moyashi', like I always begged him to before all of the started, before my beloved Yuu became an alcoholic. I still don't know how it happened. The message will whisper sweet words of love, pleading, and so much promise that I know I'll believe him, no matter how much my heart screams at me not to and I'll go to him-only to have my heart broken by him yet again as he once more chooses his addiction over me. That's how it always is.

_Call me crazy but, I think maybe we've had our last call. I bet you're in a bar it's always the same old song. That Johnny walker Red, by now it's almost gone, but Baby I won't be there to catch you when you fall, I bet you're in a bar, cause I'm always your last call._

I'm always last, the last to give up, the last to see sense, and the last call he makes. I don't want to do it, I don't want to stand down and just stop being there for him, but Lavi said, some time ago, that if we stopped enabling him then he'd see what he was doing to us and to himself and maybe get some help.  
>But I can't do that, not to him. With a heavy sigh i roll out of bed and grab my car keys.<br>I'm not going to abandon the one I love; after all, I'm always his last call.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah… I really don't like this one. My mind was running wild near the end so I'm thinking about making a one-shot based on it that'll most likely have a happy ending. Sorry this ones so short, but I couldn't really think of anything to add. Hmmm, why do I feel like I'm forgetting someth-Oh yeah! I just wanted to warn those of you who read my vampire Yullen Blood and Lust that I will hopefully be updating sometime in the next few weeks. I'm incredibly sorry for the long update but Yullen Week has been hectic and I have writers block on the new chapter. I'm truly sorry for taking so long but I'll most likely go back to somewhat frequent updates after Yullen Week is all over. **

**Thanks for Reading and I hope you enjoyed. _PLEASE REVIEW! _**


	11. A Moment Like this

**A/N: I know I should really be working on my Yullen Week entries but, hey, I got bored and writers block has decided to pay me a visit. My dark side is currently on one of her tirades which happens to include a chainsaw and coca cola-do yourself a favor; don't ask-so I figured I'd just write another songfic. I've wanted to do one for this song for a while but couldn't really get into it but now I am, so the song this time is 'A Moment Like This' by Kelly Clarkson. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song A Moment Like This. I only love them both.**

**Warning: I don't think there is one this time...**

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><p><em>What if I told you it was all meant to be? Would believe me, would you worry? It's almost that feeling, we met before. So tell that me you don't think I'm crazy, when I tell you love has come here and now.<em>

I can't explain it, the feeling that bloomed deep within my chest like a lotus breaking free of the mud after centuries of dormancy within the earth, hell I can't even explain why that was what I thought when I first saw those chilling cobalt eyes that gleamed like glacier ice and that long raven hair that shone navy beneath the light of the stars.

_Everything changes but beauty remains. Something so tender I can't explain. Well I may be dreamin but still lie awake. Can't we make this dream last forever and I'll cherish all the love we share?_

Things evolved quickly, our fights, verbal and physical, became heated nights of passion so intense I was sure we'd both be burned alive, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Not with his touch, rough, harsh and yet somehow tender sending shockwaves of pleasure and blistering heat through my very core. Then there were the beautiful moments just spent in each other's arms, so much like a dream, a dream I never wanted to end.

_Could this be the greatest love of all? I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall, so let me tell you this, some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. _

All my life I'd heard stories but I'd never believed any of them. I never thought that happy endings really happened or that things like 'The One' really existed, but, slowly but surely my opinion on that is starting to change-or maybe it was changed that first night spent I his warm embrace. Truth is I've already fallen for him, as stupid and cliché as I know it is I have to admit it; I fell for him the first time I saw him and I know that I've found the one thing most people spend their entire lives looking for.

_A moment like this some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. Some people search forever for that one special kiss; oh I can't believe it's happening to me. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this_

These seemingly insignificant moments of comfortable silence, the heated glances so many often misconstrued as hate instead of lust by outsiders, even the constant bickering only serves as a reminder of what I've found. Love is never easy, never a safe bet as I know all too well, but, the instant his lips met mine in that first heated kiss I knew that I was willing to gamble everything I had on this chance, at that moment I made up my mind and let the chips fall. I took the hand I was dealt and I'm so happy I did.

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><p><strong>AN: ... Will somebody please make the sweet stories go away! I'M BEGGING HERE! Seriously I'm starting to think I'm going soft. Every time I try to write tragedy, sad, angst-ANYTHING LIKE THAT-it comes out annoyingly lacking in emotion-does that even make sense to you guys? I don't know all I know is that sweet has taken over my mind and it is starting to annoy me!**

**Well, now that that's out of my system what do you think? I'm actually happy with this one which is kind surprising, so I'd love to know what you guys think. Hot coco and frosted sugar cookies to anyone who reviews… okay now I'm just being weird. I BLAME MY DARK SIDE!**

**Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed. **_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	12. Forgiven

**A/N: Ya know, I think this is the longest I've ever gone without updating this… kinda funny. Well, I was bored yesterday and decided to listen to my mp3 and found this lovely little number and instantly loved it. I think it's a beautiful song and I love how much emotion she seems to put into the lyrics. There are only a few singers/bands that seem to be really… emotionally invested in their music and this is one of them. So, the song this time is 'Forgiven' by Within Temptation. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or the song Forgiven. I only love them both.**

**Warning: Swearing, angst, and character death ^_^**

**S2 S2 S2 S2 S2**

_Couldn't save you from the start. I love you so it hurts my soul. Can you forgive me for trying again? Your silence makes me hold my breath. All the time has passed you by. For so long I've tried to shield you from the world. You couldn't face the freedom on your own. Here I am, left in silence._

I should have known. I should have fucking known there was nothing I could do when I first saw that false smile. I should have just stayed the hell away like I'd planned, maybe then I wouldn't have fallen for that damn Moyashi-_my_ damn Moyashi. Then maybe I wouldn't be where I am now, holding my breath with him, bleeding and broken in my arms, just hoping to hear him say _something_. No matter how fucking annoying it might be most of the time, right now I just want to hear his voice but all that meets my ears is heart wrenching silence.

_Watched the clouds drifting away. Still the sun can't warm my face. I know it was destined to go wrong. You were looking for the great escape, to chase your demons away. For so long I tried to shield you from the world. You couldn't face the freedom on your own. Here I am, left in silence._

Every time I see the clouds, I'm reminded of his eyes as the life in him slowly bled away taking the light with it. When the clouds clear, I still don't feel the sun. It reminds me too much of that annoyingly happy smile… that bright smile he showed only to me, the one that shone like the sun's rays. I knew how cruel destiny could be; I knew that something would eventually tear us apart. I knew that he wanted to escape the Noah that slowly grew stronger with each day that passed but I _never_, not even once thought he'd actually go that far. I never once thought he'd go through with it and pay the ultimate price… I never thought he'd take that way out.

_I've been so lost since you've gone. Why not me before you? Why did fate deceive me? Everything turned out so wrong. Why did you leave me in silence?_

Nothing's the same anymore. No matter what I do I can't help but feel like he's going to come up, give me that annoying, sickeningly sweet smile and somehow lure me into starting a fight-somehow he always managed to piss me off despite how I felt about him. It should have been me and I know it. I should have been the one to go down-the slowly wilting lotus should have taken my life long before he fell but the fucking hand of fate just had to deal him a card he couldn't handle.  
>Everything should have happened differently. He should have come to me if it was really tearing him apart so much.<br>He should have let me hold him close and make him forget-at least for a little while, but instead he left me in the throes of heartache without any idea how to get out of it. I swear, I'm fucking _drowning_ in the pathetic emotion but I can't seem to find a way _out_. I'm lost in it and I know that the only thing that'll help me find my way is his voice… the voice that has left me to wallow in bitter silence with no way out.

_You gave up the fight; you left me behind, all that stands forgiven. You'll always be mine, I know deep inside, all that stands forgiven._

He gave in; he surrendered and pierced his own heart with his blade, leaving me alone in this harsh world to fight a losing war without my own guiding light-without my sun, but… I'm not mad at him-I was but not anymore.  
>I wish he hadn't left me here alone with no apparent reprieve from the silence but I think I understand why. His burden, having the Noah inside of him, having the order brand him as a traitor-it was all too much for someone like him.<br>I always thought he wasn't fit for this life of seemingly endless bloodshed. He was too kind at heart, too caring for his own good. Why else would he have fallen in love with a bastard like me?  
>Truth is; I miss him. His voice, his annoyingly cheerful demeanor, his irritatingly bright smile, his soft milky white skin that I loved so much to mark, that silky, angel-fine white hair… I miss it all but, no matter how hard I try I can't seem to summon even a shred of anger toward him for leaving.<br>I know why, it's because I've already forgiven the damn sprout for taking his own life-despite decrepit state it's left me in.  
>The only thought that seems to bring me any kind of solace is the same one that used to keep me up at night and that's the thought that my time draws nearer with every petal that falls and that, when the final one drops, I'll be able to hold <em>my<em> Moyashi once more, because he _is_ mine.  
>He always was and he always will be. Not even death can change that.<p>

**S2 S2 S2 S2 S2**

**A/N: A lot of you are probably asking; why and I will tell you… I was bored, had this song on endless loop, have writer's block on all four of my multi-chapter fics and... I really felt like killing Allen and decimating Kanda's heart a little... I'm a bit of a sadist ^_^;  
><strong>**Now I have a question-well actually two; Is this the fourth or fifth time I've had Allen commit suicide and is it bad that I've lost count? Well either way I had fun writing this and I love how it turned out. I'd love to know what you guys think. I haven't written a songfic from Kanda's pov in a while so I'd love to know how you guys think I did ^_^  
>Oh yeah, last thing, I'm not sure if I got the last lyrics right since I watched two videos on YouTube and they both said something different. The First one said 'All that's done is forgiven' and the other was ' All that stands forgiven' so I went with the latter since it sounded closer. If anyone can tell me for sure which one's right I'd love to know.<strong>

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. **_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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